Fake It 'Til You Make It

The mind is a powerful thing. The self-fulfilling prophecy is real, and the things we think about and say to ourselves matter. If you say it enough times, your brain will start to believe it is true. Maybe standing in front of the mirror and saying, “You are beautiful,” seems like a complete lie or makes you feel silly or stupid, but it doesn’t matter. Do it anyway.

4 Things People Get Wrong About Body Positivity

I’m not a dietitian, personal trainer, or any kind of health and fitness expert. I’m not a psychologist, although I do have a bachelor's degree in psychology, so that must mean something, right? But I do know a lot about body positivity simply because I’ve walked through the darkness of self-hatred and have come out the other side with a new perspective on body image, self-love, and what it means to have “body positivity.”

So here, in no particular order, are four things people get wrong about body positivity.

How Motherhood Changed Me: Part 2

I’d like to think I was worried about issues like bullying and social media use and how we are perpetuating bias and prejudice without even realizing it before I had kids, but that would be, at best, stretching the truth. Before I had a tiny human following me around and listening to everything I said I put little thought into how the things I said or did, especially online impacted anyone but me.

New Year, Same Me

I’m not setting a weight loss goal for my 2019 resolutions because I don’t have to. For along time I felt like as an overweight person a desire to completely change my body was a requirement for new year’s resolutions. If you’re fat then naturally you should want to be skinny, and you should focus all your efforts on getting there. Yeah, no thanks.

It's Okay Not To Be Okay

My baby is now seven-months old and I recently decided I felt good enough to start weaning off my antidepressants, and when all those feelings of irritability, sadness, exhaustion and hatred for everything came rushing back I felt like a failure. I refilled my prescription and cried. I should be over this by now, I have nothing to be depressed about, I thought.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

It is so easy to look at your friends and family and compare your life with theirs. To compare their clean house with your dirty one, their well-behaved children with your screaming monsters, their fit bodies with your still-doesn’t-fit-in-prepregancy-jeans body. But here’s the thing: there is always more to the story. There is always life behind the scenes you know nothing about.

You're Not Being Helpful

When the people we love the most—the ones who have our best interests at heart—tell us something, we believe them. And all these things done and said over years and years of my life led me to believe one thing: I needed to change my body because there was something wrong with it.

Don't Be A Dick

I don’t know when having a different opinion elicited being called horrible names by strangers on the internet or when it became socially acceptable to shame, bully, or even physically harm people just because they are different than us, but I believe it all comes back to having a little basic humanity.

The Darkness of Self-Hatred

I was always a big child, taller and bigger than everyone in my class by a pretty large margin. I was bullied and made fun of from the time I was in kindergarten up until I graduated from high school. I learned from a very young age that my body wasn’t as good as others, that I should do everything I could to become a smaller version of myself.

Am I A Hypocrite?

Here I am preaching (or planning to preach about) body positivity and loving yourself exactly the way you are, while at the same time actively trying to change my body. Does that make my message mean less? Am I going to seem disingenuous if I post transformation photos on my Instagram page in a few months?

Just the Beginning

How do you start something that has the power to change your life? To change other people’s lives? If it’s like anything else worth doing in life you close your eyes, say a prayer and jump into the unknown, hoping you’ll learn to fly or at least find a soft spot for landing.