The Story Behind Confessions from Your Fat Friend
Confessions from Your Fat Friend has been living inside my head for over three years now. I honestly don’t remember where the idea came from, but I do remember that my now four-year-old was just a baby when I started taking notes about different confessions I wanted to share. Every time I had a thought about the book, I would jot it down on a note on my phone. Some of them came from conversations with my husband or friends like the one I relay at the beginning of chapter 21 (Confident, Out-there Girls Amaze Me), some of them came from past memories that have been seared into my brain.
Here’s a fun fact: when I initially came up with the idea for Confessions I imagined it would be a fiction book, just like my other books. I started out thinking about the main character and her group of friends and how I was going to make each confession come to life in a fiction story. Of course, I always knew it would be infused with some truth because after all, each confession came from my own experiences as the fat friend.
But I could never quite make it work. I could never figure out how I was going to infuse a fiction, and likely romantic, storyline through each confession. How I was going to create a plotline that made sense. Late last year, shortly after I had started this blog, I started to consider the possibility of writing Confessions as a memoir instead of a romantic comedy. But to be honest, that idea scared the crap out of me.
Would anyone be interested in reading stories from a small-town farm girl? Would anyone even be able to relate to my stories? Would anyone even want to read it?
From the very beginning I was apprehensive about writing a book called Confessions from Your Fat Friend. In fact, on the same note in my phone where I kept my ideas, I also kept a list of potential “problems” people might have with the book. Even at the beginning, when I was still clearly imagining the book as a fiction one, I was worried how people were going to react. Would everyone think I was just complaining and shaming all the people who ever made fun of me? Would it seem like a rant against skinny people? Would everyone think I was just doing it for pity?
Despite my resistance to switching genres and writing a memoir, it didn't take me very long, however, to realize that a nonfiction book was the only way Confessions was ever going to work. From there I set out to finish drafting the “confessions” I was going to write. I mapped out my confessions and started writing.
This project was sooo different than anything I have ever written before. It drained me. Emotionally and mentally. I struggled with parts of every single chapter, and unlike my other books, I didn’t have the promise of a juicy plot twist or happy ending to keep me writing. I cried a lot while I was writing it. I texted my friends and made them reassure me I wasn’t being crazy for writing this book.
I was hesitant at first to tell people about it. To tell people the title and see their reaction. I quickly learned that instead of thinking I was bashing on skinny people or whining about being fat people could relate. Even if it was just to the title, just to the notion of being that fat friend. Those comments kept me going, kept me writing even when it was exhausting.
Confessions is not a rant against skinny people and I didn’t write it to make you all feel bad for me. I wrote it for every person who has ever felt like the outcast, who has ever cried themselves to sleep at night because of the things the bully said, who has ever wondered how they could make themselves skinnier so they could finally be happy.
I wrote this book for my former self. For the girl that thought she needed validation from guys to be worthy of love, for the girl who just wanted one single person to understand what I was going through.
I poured my heart and soul into those pages and if I help even one person it will all be worth it.
Get your copy here.