All in Body Positivity

No One's Love Can Make You Love Yourself

I used to think that if I had a boyfriend or someone who loved me all my insecurities would go away, I would be filled with confidence from their love and finally stop hating my body. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I have an awesome husband who truly loves me just the way I am and tells me regularly how beautiful I am, but his love and acceptance of me does absolutely nothing to help me love and accept myself.

Fake It 'Til You Make It

The mind is a powerful thing. The self-fulfilling prophecy is real, and the things we think about and say to ourselves matter. If you say it enough times, your brain will start to believe it is true. Maybe standing in front of the mirror and saying, “You are beautiful,” seems like a complete lie or makes you feel silly or stupid, but it doesn’t matter. Do it anyway.

4 Things People Get Wrong About Body Positivity

I’m not a dietitian, personal trainer, or any kind of health and fitness expert. I’m not a psychologist, although I do have a bachelor's degree in psychology, so that must mean something, right? But I do know a lot about body positivity simply because I’ve walked through the darkness of self-hatred and have come out the other side with a new perspective on body image, self-love, and what it means to have “body positivity.”

So here, in no particular order, are four things people get wrong about body positivity.

New Year, Same Me

I’m not setting a weight loss goal for my 2019 resolutions because I don’t have to. For along time I felt like as an overweight person a desire to completely change my body was a requirement for new year’s resolutions. If you’re fat then naturally you should want to be skinny, and you should focus all your efforts on getting there. Yeah, no thanks.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

It is so easy to look at your friends and family and compare your life with theirs. To compare their clean house with your dirty one, their well-behaved children with your screaming monsters, their fit bodies with your still-doesn’t-fit-in-prepregancy-jeans body. But here’s the thing: there is always more to the story. There is always life behind the scenes you know nothing about.

You're Not Being Helpful

When the people we love the most—the ones who have our best interests at heart—tell us something, we believe them. And all these things done and said over years and years of my life led me to believe one thing: I needed to change my body because there was something wrong with it.

The Darkness of Self-Hatred

I was always a big child, taller and bigger than everyone in my class by a pretty large margin. I was bullied and made fun of from the time I was in kindergarten up until I graduated from high school. I learned from a very young age that my body wasn’t as good as others, that I should do everything I could to become a smaller version of myself.

Am I A Hypocrite?

Here I am preaching (or planning to preach about) body positivity and loving yourself exactly the way you are, while at the same time actively trying to change my body. Does that make my message mean less? Am I going to seem disingenuous if I post transformation photos on my Instagram page in a few months?

Just the Beginning

How do you start something that has the power to change your life? To change other people’s lives? If it’s like anything else worth doing in life you close your eyes, say a prayer and jump into the unknown, hoping you’ll learn to fly or at least find a soft spot for landing.

A Letter to Me

For every girl out there doubting yourself and hating yourself and crying yourself to sleep at night because you aren't pretty enough or popular enough or skinny enough. For any girl who has ever been bullied or made fun of or alienated. For every girl who is struggling through high school wondering if things will ever get better, this is for you.